Any one who knows me knows that I truly like helping people. I listen to many stories people share with me about their lives. It never ceases to amaze me the conviction that many have about their beliefs in regard to what they "can't do". Imagine if we could turn that thought process around. Wouldn't that be something? What if every time you spoke a limiting belief about yourself, a big boot came out of nowhere and gave you a swift kick in the "you know what". That might change things a bit, don't you think?
We're all different, and our challenges are not the same either. Truth be told, some people really do have some serious challenges. It could be life-threatening illness or a family member that is sick, or an aging parent. There are only so many hours in the day and some circumstances just demand our time and emotions. So just to be clear, I'm referring to those among us who "believe" they have challenges and feel stuck. But the truth is they have more options than they realize if they could just learn how to get out of their own way.
Here's a few examples.
I want to lose weight, but - -
(the don't list)
I don't like to work out.
I don't like to get up early.
I don't like to cook.
I don't like vegetables.
I don't like to lift weights.
I don't like the gym.
I don't have the time.
I don't like to sweat.
(time constraints)
I work too many hours.
I have children to take care of.
I'm a single parent.
I work nights.
(physical limitations)
I'm too tired.
I've got flat feet.
I have a bad back.
I have tennis elbow.
-insert any previous injury here. Some are legitimate and some are
just an excuse and are based in the fear of getting reinjured.
(it's not my fault)
My wife won't let me. (husband, boss, brother, sister, etc.)
I want to, but it just doesn't work for me.
I've tried that before. (and it just didn't work for me).
Lifting weights makes me too "bulky".
I can't give up my wine at night.
My spouse won't help or support me, so why bother?
I can't eat breakfast if I'm not hungry.
I can't drink water if I'm not thirsty.
I don't like the taste of water.
I don't like having to go to the bathroom so frequently.
I can't afford a trainer or a gym membership.
I have bad genetics.
I am big-boned.
I'm not a morning person.
Some of these reasons may seem funny to you. But to the person who has come to believe and live any one of these self-limiting beliefs, there's nothing funny about it. They are just stuck!
The truth is that sometimes we will tell ourselves whatever we need to believe so that we don't have to try.
I've been there. When I think about my life and looking back, I was very good at making excuses for my lack of time and lack of money, lack of opportunities and the list goes on and on. Talk about living in lack, I was the king of excuses!
My knees and lower back were in pain. In fact, I had a very common case of "donelaps disease". That's a condition you get from over eating where your stomach "done laps over your belt". (wink)
I felt lousy, my emotions went up and down like mercury in a thermometer and my mood often swung like a sledge hammer. I would grind my teeth in my sleep and I felt old before my time. The sad part was that I was only in my mid-thirties!
1) Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life
When I finally got it into my thick skull that I alone was responsible for my life AND I actually started to take responsibility, things began to change. And they began to change rapidly!
No more complaining, no more blaming, no more excuses! Try doing that for just one day!! It's very difficult to do. Our habits of finding fault with others, ie., bosses, the economy, the weather, our kids, circumstances, parents, our upbringing, past traumas, and on-and-on are so ingrained, it's truly an uphill battle to put on the brakes.
In order to accomplish this, you have to accept 100% responsibility for everything in your life. That means that everything that you have (both good and bad) in your life, you are responsible for, even if you don't understand why. The two ways to do this are:
- Stop complaining
- Stop blaming
2) Know What You Want
This is absolutely key, because if you want to make life altering changes, you have to be 100% committed to the end result. There can be no middle ground, no settling for second best. And to do this you must have a clear picture in your mind of what it is that you want.
3) Make a List of Reasons WHY You Need to Succeed
Do You Know Your 'Why'?
Maybe you want to start your own business, maybe you want to change your body composition, or be the best in any other form of endeavor. In your personal relationships maybe? Maybe you're like me? If you start something you want to do two things:
- Enjoy it
- Be hugely successful at it
If you don't know WHY you want to do something then you you will never stick it out to see it through. Your reasons WHY must be big and powerful. When is comes to losing fat and getting lean, it's these reasons why that will carry you above your temptations to eat and drink foods that work against you. The saying "old habits die hard" is absolutely true. But when you know why you want to lose 50lbs for example, you will not succumb to the habits that do not support your goals if your reasons why you need to succeed are powerful enough.
4) Make Your Why Crystal Clear
Your reasons should be crystal clear. Does they propel you forward?
Does your Why help overcome your fears and doubt's, your tendency to procrastinate maybe?
Dwell on your Dream! What is it that motivates you, brings joy to your heart, maybe tears to your eyes. Feel the emotion! Write down what it is and WHY! This is really important. It will clarify your thinking and crystallize your dream, making it real and it will motivate you to take the consistent action that is needed.
5) What Do You Value?
What is it that you value most? Would having a lean muscular body change the quality of your life? Are you willing to make sacrifices to have that dream body? It will take work. It will be hard. You will be sore. But it will be worth it. Oh yes, it will be so worth it.
You need to find what you value most, shift your priorities, and stop doing the things that sabotage your efforts. You need to once and for all focus and realize that whatever it is that you want in life, you are going to have to go and get it yourself. No one is going to show up and take you by the hand or do it for you. It's up to you and that's the way it's always been.
So if you are not happy with your weight, who's to blame?
If you are not happy with your bank account, who's fault is that?
If you are not happy with your personal relationships, who are you pointing a finger at?
It's YOU, it's always been you. So stop blaming anyone else, stop complaining and step up to the plate and take responsibility for everything in your life.
The solution to your challenges is within you. That's where it's been all along. So whatever it is you are serious about doing or changing in your life I hope you take this message to heart. Once you start this journey you'll change your life in powerful ways. One you'll look back on where you once were and you'll smile. Just don't forget to help someone else along the way.
